so let's talk about scary

This week's just one of those weeks, I suppose. Welcome to the real world.
Started with HIV, and I don't really want to get into the details of it, I don't think I'm ready. (No, it's not me, I'm fine.)
And then this morning I go online and one of my friends is a wreck because one of his friends is threatening suicide. And not only can I not do anything about it (not knowing the friend), but I can't be there for him either, and I think that's what hurts worst. I asked him if I could do anything for him and he asked me to come over so he could have my shoulder, and when I explained (as he knew) that I couldn't, he started to cry. So here I am. Helpless, hearing someone I love cry because he's feeling helpless.
This just seems to be a reality week, and I can't do anything about it. I feel like a little kid who's standing outside looking up at the sky, hoping to catch a glimpse of a superhero in a cape, with a big smile. He'll fly down to stand beside me, put his hand on my head and tell me something of incredible importance, such as "If you suspect that there's a fire on the other side of the door, touch it with the back of your hand. If it's hot or even warm there, you know that it's going to be VERY hot on the other side, so don't open the door." And then we'd grin at each other and he'd fly off and save the world, all before dinner.

The world needs a lot of saving, I realize.


On the bright side, here's a list of things in my wallet.

• driver's license
• debit card
• Barnes and Noble gift certificate (some used)
  
• American Eagle gift certificate (some used)
• Victoria's Secret gift certificate (not used, but it has a pretty rhinestone on it)
• a discount card
• Molten Java coffee club card
• Chelce Hessler's business card
• insurance card
• $40.76
  
• my cousin and my best friend's senior portraits
• a traveler's check
• A sticker from the Whitney Museum