clear skies are a-comin'

I'm just frustrated right now.

With AJ, specifically, though I don't really know the depth of my frustration. I REALLY like that boy. A lot. But he didn't tell me he didn't get a ticket for semi, and the only way I found out about that was by ASKING HIM FOUR HOURS BEFORE THE DANCE. And that's just...like, NOT ok. And whatever, like, it doesn't matter that he didn't go, it matters that he didn't tell me. And then yesterday, he didn't tell me he wasn't coming to the Mardi Gras party. I'll take some responsibility for that though because I assumed he was coming, even though he hadn't said if he was or wasn't. But he didn't come and Crystal had seen him walking around town before hand so there's like NO excuse in my opinion. And I'm just really frustrated with him. Like, gah, I don' teven know how frustrated I am. Like, I don't know if it's gonna be something that's hurting our relationship or what. Cuz I know one sweet gesture and I'll be back in his lap like always. And I really don't want to lose this because I like him a LOT, but you know? And I don't want to say anything about it because I don't want to recognize that not everything's perfect. And it doesn't have to be perfect, maybe I'm just getting more serious about us than I should.
And I'm a little overtired. Pull yourself together, girl. I just don't want to resent him for this later. It's starting to follow the Ian pattern, ya know? And I slightly resent Ian for that, I don't want to be mad at AJ. And I don't want us to end; he makes me happy.
We'll hang out tonight. We'll chill out somewhere, maybe cuddle in the rain, and I'll find myself falling back in love. Pattern of amore.
It'll be alright. Everything's gonna be alright, everything's gonna be alright. I feel better having gotten that out. Like Anna Nalick, no longer threatening the life it belongs to.
Yeah. Yeah. It's ok.
Love,
me