rain, but no ark

it's been raining for eight days now. a persistant rain, if not a continuous one. while the skies fall tempermentally, one minute an angry downpour flattening everyone and everything, and the next a light mist only barely distinguishable against the windshield, there is a constant gray filter. perhaps it is this filter which (dare i say) dampens my mood. (harhar.) while rains usually bring forth the greenest hues in the grass and leaves, this rain is too late and simply causes the waterlogged plants to droop, exhausted. the fresh scent, the smell of renewal is entirely absent, instead replaced by a sick rotting musty smell, like wet clothes kept in an attic.
appropriately, my mood seems to have a thick film over it. i don't feel too much, and i don't feel too fantastic. right now, i am upset, vaguely angry, and vaguely impatient. my day was just...gray. nothing happened exceptionally interesting. i actually looked at ian in the hallway...and that was all. a look. an empty look, void of any words, a look long numbed of emotion. eyes brushing over the eyes of a stranger, with a vague recognition. noticing the form, but unfamiliar with the sickly white yellow lurking beneath the skin where usually a light pink blooms.
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however, since i am now far from sam and "kat", and am no longer staring blindly out a window at the distorted vision of the world, and can no longer feel the looming presence of the past...surrounded by his girlfriend and his ex...one an equal, the other cowering behind, trying to make herself unknown, to make herself forgotten, cringing away from conversation, and swallowing down tears unbidden.
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today is just another day, as easily forgotten as the one two weeks ago, two months ago, two years ago, two lifetimes ago. an ephemeral reminder that i'm not yet dead.