any look at all, well it's better than nothing

....and that's what makes you feel damn worthless.

i love that feeling like you're being rejected by your friends. and you don't know if you should bother trying to talk to them, or if that'll just be pestering. i can understand being busy, i know how it is. i just don't know how much of it is being busy and how much of it is being forgotten. i don't suffer for being forgotten. tough love? but i don't want to. effin.
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saw lords of dogtown yesterday. kristyn hated it, but i actually liked it. sorta my fantasy. many skater boys in various forms of shirtlessness being rough. it's strangely sexy. aaaaaand i keep thinking about how cool it would be to go up to nh...muahaha. i need to shut up.
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alright, sent cal an email. i'm a softie. oh well. but i have such a problem with just LETTING GO of friends. like, now it sucks, 'cuz we need to sorta start over. we did what erin and i did. just sorta stopped talking. i HATE that. whore.
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my wings suck. i do not have the patience for them at all. it's unfortunate. excited for class color day. need to do hw. leaving soon. maybe a shower, or porn will sweeten my temperment. maybe not.