what will you do to end the silence?

words of meaning (but just to me)!

rain
Airplane
popcorn mess
spoon
rub nose (peeling nose, good game)
Sci Fi
James Bond (who isn't James Bond, but he is)
legs are crispy like chicken
(like chicken, laughs)
close
jaw and neck game
brown
ouch, it hurts!
chin and ribs, and big brown eyes
skin
love

sunshine

But life is beautiful and love is grand. :)

how can you title?

Tuesday, Sarah's mom was diagnosed with thyroid cancer.

I wish I could pray. In my own way I do though. While at the beach, I dug a hole by the tide deep in the sand with my toes. I told myself "If the water fills it by the time I count to 10, Sarah's mom will be better quickly." And it did. I looked up at the sky and it was beautiful because the sky was (make a wish) a deep, clear, fresh blue like a husky's eyes, and it was freckled with cottonball clouds and a sparkling sun. And it was just a little reminder; yes, we're mortal, but it's beautiful anyway.

I want to do something, to cook something.

great motto for life

"Escape to Victoria:
Leave the cold behind! Escape to warmth and luxury"

epiphany, not epithet.

It's often mentioned that males need to have their egos stroked.

And it's also mentioned that when dealing with an upset person, one must be able to read a situation as to not exacerbate the situation.

And I have just had a moment in which I have finally adequately put both of those statements to use, and honestly, I am a little proud. My friend Joe is upset about some chick and he's making all sorts of graphic death wishes on her.

My response to cool him? "You're stronger than to let some little thing like that infuriate you this much."

Stroking the ego by encouraging him to be better than the anger, and as a result? Said frustrated friend has toned it down and come back from the snarling beast he was. Is now just merely a steamed up teenager. It's manipulating a little bit, but the good kind.

let's find a bar so dark we forget who we are

Highlights from yesterday:
12.37 am: Call Callum, who was standing in line for the movies and forgot it was my birthday. He sent his love anyway.
3 am: milkshake (chocolate. Cost: $3.73. I gave him $3.55, and then realized that that was the cost without tax, so as I was digging for more change, he told me not to worry about it. Happy Birthday to me!)
4 am: come home, crawl into bed.
9.30 am: awakened by mom with a muffin and glass of apricot juice. Enjoyed both. Did not enjoy the five hours of sleep. Attempted to go back to sleep, and couldn't.
10-12ish: found the dress I wore to my 8th grade graduation ceremony. (It's a hippie-esque patchwork sundress sorta thing.) Cut it up and resewed it (by hand) so it's a skirt. It looks great. Didn't have a drawstring though, so I used hemp. Decided to wear it. Super adorable.
Later: opened stuff, got a fair amount of cash, a lot of computer stuff that I was gonna need for college (more disk drive and such.) And underwear and a cute digi camera which I named Baby Face. (My aunt gave me a card that's a closeup of a baby's face.) Garden State and Rent movies! YAY! And Uno's for lunch. Mmmm.
7.30 pm: couple of the girls come over so we can go to Chili's, where we meet up with Cohn and Stef for dinner. Got the waitress to get the staff to sing happy birthday to me even though we didn't get dessert.
9 pm: home to watch Rocky Horror Picture show. Picked up the boy on the way (Garden State soundtrack!). Cue lots of foolishness at home. Penguin sex, the stupid face game (an excellent game that goes as such... Best done with a friend. Make a series of stupid faces and take a picture so you don't know which face the camera gets. Exceptionally foolish, guaranteed to entertain you, your friend, and whoever is watching.), tickle fights, and cuddling. Then watched the movie which was cute. Received a 12 pack of condoms (flavored, tingly, bumpy, and another thing, I forget), skanky/horrifying underwear, bubbles, beads, a book of comebacks, a shirt, body butter, and a ring pop. Oh, and Cosmo, with an article on multiple orgasms. Thanks, Kerri.
1ish: people leave, Kerri and I read the multiple orgasm thing to Sarah. And drool over the yummy boys. THEN SLEEP!

So it was a good day. A long one, indeed.



(Picture= morning humor...)

happy birthday boo'ful

Happy birthday to me!
A grownup. :)
And I found a guy on myspace with my last name, and I remembered Dad saying that there was a family in Danbury with our last name and we're somehow related. Made me almost wish I had my myspace back so I could message him and be like "Hey. I don't know you. And likewise, you don't know me. But we're distantly related. Sweet, isn't it? Kisses."
Let's do the pattern of how I know him. My boyfriend's best friend is friends with him. WHOOO! That's not too far down the line. Considering the blood relatedness is a bit further down. I really am tempted to talk to him. He's apparently emo. Hahahah whoo! I bet I've met him before. Hah, how funny.

Anyway, so I'm gonna go take a quick nap before heading off to the diner (at 3 am) for a milkshake. Saweeeeeeeeeeet!

crazy

It's a mixed up muddled up shook up crazy world and maybe life is...

But it's the kind of crazy that makes me smile and makes my heart bounce.

*Grin*

just in case

So we're sitting on the bus and Lauren's giggling about how she's "highly decorated" in ROTC.

Now, we all know that Lauren and I have drastically different opinions on ROTC, and both of us are aware of that. However, I always make sure to be supportive of her and I am proud of her when she succeeds at something in particular. So she was telling me of the most recent addition to her medals: one for aim.

What I mean by this is aim with a gun. In ROTC, they have target practice. It's not uncommon for a kid to come into class excited and holding a target with several bullet holes in it. They'll be bragging about their good aim and whatnot. And this terrifies me. For a multitude of reasons. 1) Guns do not belong in schools. 2) There are some kids in school and ROTC that I do not want to see holding guns. 3) It is encouraged.

A lot of people look at Columbine and say "Well yeah, but that was an exception. No one woulde ver really do that." And I agree. I don't really believe that the bomb threat we had was a result of a highly problemed and delusional teenager. I think that it was a kid who went to the bathroom to get out of class (and probably some test) and was a little miffed and decided to write "I'm gonna blow up the school" on the wall, without any further intentions. I wouldn't be surprised if he forgot about it an hour later. But...Columbine was also a sign of a changing society. And although metal detectors when you go into school are seemingly silly and over-kill, there are some places in which it is necessary. And that's really unfortunate. Yet, it seems to me that people have selective vision on their "what if's...". If a kid is talking about how they hate their life and wish they were dead, an adult is obligated to report it and get the kid help in case they're suicidal. Similarly, a threat mindlessly written on the wall needs to be reported in case it's a serious threat. Yet the school permits ROTC to have their own special situation. There is no "We can't allow ROTC to have guns in school just in case some kid goes crazy and we've got a repeat Columbine performance."

The arguments against me usually go something to the tune of "But the commanders don't let just anyone do it, if you look dangerous or suspicious then they're not going to let you do target practice." Which is reasonable. But not failsafe. What happens when that one kid figures out that (s)he doesn't need to steal dad's gun? What happens when that one kid realizes, "I'll join ROTC. They let me have guns." And what happens when that one kid happens to be just smart enough to play the game and gives off the perfect impression of innocence? What happens when that one kid plans and six months later the _________ Shooting is all over the news with another twelve or so deaths and that one kid is lying grinning a skeleton grin in a pool of his or her own blood with a government issue ROTC gun in his or her hand?

That may be extreme, I'm aware. A lot of planning. But how about this scenario: ROTC person has been good and a model citizen without once thinking about harming another person. A bad week or month clouds over. Depression sets in and ROTC person knows an easy out: it's in the basement of the school on a rack with many others. Sure, I may be overreacting. But this is America and I'm just playing the "in case" game.